I'm eating all of the evidence.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
