we're blogging at a bar
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
