I want to make a zoo with you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I smell like Dick and happiness
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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