With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They took my balls.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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