He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
