Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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