Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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