you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
