we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
