How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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