Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
