How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
