have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
