You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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