I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
