i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
