you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
