I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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