you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
