Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize