OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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