matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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