It's like God shit irony all over that family
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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