If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
