Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
