I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
