question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
