doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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