I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
