why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
