I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
