stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Tornado booty call.. dedication
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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