You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
