when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
pray to the hookup gods
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
