would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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