And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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