Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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