I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
