I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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