the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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