can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize