i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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