She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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