I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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