dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
