I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
