just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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