can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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