I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
