We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
