Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
