she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize