Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
