Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
