That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
