I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
