Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
