I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
