is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
