hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
