EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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