My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
