Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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