Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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