New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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